“In 2009 I was living in the bushes behind Wal-Mart. At night I would go to Wal-Mart and find things that people had left behind. I took those and draped them over my bushes to create a shelter. I slept on my bag of stuff. In winter I would get other bags and pile them on top of me like blankets. I was probably 75 or 80 pounds back then. One day, I was hurting so bad. I couldn’t move. I was curled up in a ball. I was watching the sun come down and I thought, fuck man, if I don’t get up and move I’m not going to make it. I had to dig deep to get up and get out. I made myself do it. I got up and followed the little trail behind Wal-Mart. I got close to the front doors and I seen my old classmate, an old friend from school with his wife and kids. I froze. I was embarrassed. I turned and looked away. He never saw me. I watched him as they pushed their things across the parking lot to a white car. I’m sitting there watching them and I’m thinking wow…it looks like he is doing pretty good in life, wife, two kids, nice clothes, nice car, groceries, home. I’m watching all of that thinking how I’d gone months without a shower, without clean clothes, without brushing my teeth. I remember looking at myself, then my classmate, then my bushes and I thought…how am I going to ever catch up with him? That thought alone made me need to get high. The thought that I was so far behind that I’ll never catch up with nobody ever, that I don’t deserve nothing. I used that as a reason to get high….

By 2012, I felt like death was breathing down my back. I was looking at all three of my kids and I saw them growing and I saw a lot of the time I had missed their childhood. I was thinking about that and thinking about how, if I don’t make a decision now, there will be a hell of a lot more that I’d miss out on. And I made the decision to make a decision. It was time for me to be real with myself. I called Hoy Recovery. I had to accept a lot of things about myself. For one, I’m different than everyone else. I’m unique and I had to accept that as okay. I didn’t have to fit in, I didn’t have to be something that I’m not…..and I accepted what I can or can't do.

For example, drinking. I just can’t drink. I accepted that I’m the kind of person that needs boundaries in my life. Boundaries are healthy. They are good. I accepted the fact that life isn’t a race and that I still have life to live….

In 2017 I was working with a team and that wanted to raise money to help folks in our community. So, we started the community Matanza. Hundreds came. After that, we hosted it again and again and we created a non-profit organization, Española Community Matanza, we raise money by holding these events and we turn around and give out about $15,000 in scholarships to local people. We’ve done eighteen events so far. In 2018, I founded the first ever homeless shelter here in Española. We just got the money we needed, we’ve purchased the property. We also purchased an old hotel and opened up a transitional living center….I just ran for county commissioner. I didn’t come out on top but I ran one hell of a campaign. "

- JULY 2022